The Beautiful Game?

As I sit in a press box waiting out a lightning delay for a soccer game. I wonder why anyone calls this the beautiful game. I mean I know why we as American's don't like it. If makes perfect sense to me. And the reason is because we're smarter than the rest of the world.
This is a sport that promotes ties. The settle their biggest championship with a shootout. Nothing about this sport interests me. I have watched 15 games live now, and literally have seen about 5 minutes of what I'd call intense action, and about a half dozen good/great plays. Granted I'm watching low level proffesional soccer. Hockey and Basketball are better live, not soccer. At least when I'm watching soccer at home, I can throw my TV into the bathtub with me in the tub to end it.
You'll hear the arguement, more kids play soccer than any other sport. Here are the reasons for that.
A. You can have 11 kids on the field at a time, not counting subs. So everybody get's to play.
B. It's cheap as hell. You need a paid of shoes. And I'm guessing that isn't even necessary.
C. Nobody ever gets their feelings hurt, because nobody ever wins or loses. Every game ends in a tie, so nobody goes feeling like they're not special.
D. There are so many kids on the field that you can hide chubby fat kids, and unathletic kids.
So I don't buy this crap about soccer. It's a terrible sport. Let the rest of the world enjoy this crap. I've seen guys go down and taken off on the cart, only to return to the field minutes later. What soccer is, is a level up from cross country and track. It's a little bit of competition but not to much.
I hate this game, and I'll never get world cup fever.