When you think of old white guys, Asians everywhere, English as a second language, chaos, and filth, what comes to mind. For most people you would say Vietnam,WWII or the setting for a new Clint Eastwood movie. That is usually what comes to mind, unless you've ever been to Sams Club. Every time I walk into this place I feel like I'm part of the Tet offensive, or Hiroshima.
What is it about the Hmong and needing 3 gallons of ranch, or 16,000 saltine crackers. Maybe it's the fact that they don't live in single family homes, more like communes. I'm sure if we followed a few of these people home, the inside of the houses would look like New Delhi, India. I go to Sams Club for work related items. We buy stuff there because we have 2000+ customers walking through our doors in a good week. They go there to feed their families of 70. They must watch Jon and Kate plus 8 and find it comical how easy raising a family of 8 is. They think try raising a family of 22 with no jobs. TLC's next series will be Vang and Chu plus 22.
What about these old people. They are buying food that will far outlast themselves. I saw a guy today buy a box of 5000 coffee filters. He was at least 85, so if he makes a pot of coffee a day, he has to live to be 98 years old, and by the way he was moving he isn't going to make it.
What was the point of WWII or Vietnam? Was it so someday allies and enemies could shop in bulk together? History teachers should take field trips here. You could sum up 3 wars, and international relations, and business all in one trip.
What about the workers. Is bathing not part of the requirement. I have to dodge their grease and acne every time I hand them a check. When I go there they always ask, is this Tax Exempt. No I am buying 288 bottles of water, 600 bags of chips, 120 muffins, 100 rolls of toilet paper, 4 cartons of cigarettes, and 576 snickers bars for home. Of course it's tax exempt. The typical life of a sams club worker is this. She dropped out of high school and moved in with her older boyfriend who worked on cars and sold drugs. She got a tatoo, and got pregnant. Her parents time and time again pleaded for her to come home, but she couldn't leave her boyfriend. Plus he was working on his GED. But then she walked in on her boyfriend banging a burger king worker. So she moved home, stopped doing meth, and tried to straighten her life out. Her only option was Sams Club.
I hate Sams Club!
8 comments:
Do they sell carp at Sam's Club?
Doesn't Stueve work their part-time?
They sell carp by the school. You get like 75 tons of carp, and that is one meal.
Stueve would be an absolute celebrity if he worked there.
One other thing, I'm going there in the morning.
Stueve reminds me of a carp.
Steamin' Willy Beaman! Keeps the ladies cravin'.
Not sure who this Willy Beaman character thinks he is, but I am much better looking than a carp. Althouse must be mistaking me for Super, because as delightful as Sam's Club sounds I am not on the staff's roster.
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